Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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