i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
