Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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