She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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