The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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