drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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