if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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