dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
