I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
