She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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