it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
