ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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