My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
