the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The air taste purple.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
