my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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