Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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