I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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