Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
