Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
