When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
