I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
