Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
