Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
