i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
