Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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