i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
