you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
