hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
