Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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