I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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