Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
