She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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