So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
