my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
