well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
