Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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