so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
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