belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
