It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
