if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just want to make out with him forever
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
