Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize