im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
