I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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