this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
