ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
