Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
