I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
