Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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