yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
