please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
