Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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