similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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