If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
