I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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