There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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