Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
