Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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